this coupon good for one free sweat covered body licking

ever watch a movie and realize you're drenched in sweat after a nail biting, edge of your seat thrill ride? Or ever been locked in a car with the windows up for too long in a sunny parking lot? Or ever just wake up in a pool of sweat?

Well fear not!

The tounge is highly absorbent and dries FAST! With superior thickness and strength over competitors, my tounge is designed to last. Im confident that you won't find a better quality tounge.

(Not redeemable in your asshole)